It was a day of determination, redemption, and sheer absurdity as Broxbourne Ladies 3XI took on Shefford & Sandy 2XI. No, our avid readers (well Lisa and Al) this was not anything to do with Lauren’s sunbed traumas of the previous weeks, it was in fact a team effort! After a frustrating away fixture earlier in the season, where goals had been more elusive to locate than Tara in a dry robe, the team was fired up to make things right.

So… kit bags… there weren’t any this week. Instead, the squad arrived looking more like a travelling circus than a hockey team. Childhood prams rolled into the clubhouse, sleds were dragged unhelpfully across the tarmac, ski boots clomped along the astroturf, and one player (cough cough Tors) bravely attempted to carry their gear on a fully extended clothes horse (airer), which immediately became both a health hazard and a source of endless amusement as she tried to get through doorways.

Before the team could get too caught up in the hilarity, Tara called for order. With the seriousness of a general preparing for battle, she laid down the reality check: if we didn’t win now, we’d just look like absolute idiots. No one wanted to be the team that lost while pushing their shinpads on a sackbarrow, so with that in mind, Broxbourne took to the pitch with renewed focus and supported by Coach Matt, Grace and Maz.

A few tense moments were had though. As the game was about to start, Kirsty actually realised that in her amazing efforts with the kitbag scenario, she had in fact left the key piece of kit (her stick) in the car and Hannah Fix had left her gumshield.

Another point to note, that falls under the absurdity of the day, was the rather extended warm-up that took place due to the excitement of the ‘kitbags’ and the fact that the game before had been cancelled. The team managed a run, stretches, a box drill, 2 on 1 plays and short corner drills and still had time to spare.

Shefford & Sandy clearly hadn’t got the memo about the day’s comedic theme, as they set up a deep and determined defensive wall that proved frustratingly hard to break down. Despite Broxbourne dominating possession and spending most of the game camped in the attacking half, the breakthrough proved elusive.

Just when it looked like the first half would end in frustration, Broxbourne finally got their reward—two minutes before the break. Some mother-daughter teamwork saw Hannah pass the ball across the D to Fixy who hit the backboard, and with that sigh of relief (and an audible yell), the momentum was firmly in Broxbourne’s hands. This was just after the some of the Ladies 1xi, who had kindly come to support, left the pitch for their warm up!

The sideline commentary from Coach Josh was also entertainment of a new level, as he was dumbfounded when a ball that he thought would be lost was actually chased and retrieved by Fixy, as in his words, ‘I thought that’s the wrong Fixter you want for that kind of pass, Hannah would get it!’ Well Fixy was on fire at this point and throughout the game. Not to be underestimated!

Following a positive half time talk, broxbourne came out eager for more goals. A drive into the D from Hannah and a pass to the P-spot saw Cerys slot the ball past the keeper. Proving that hockey clearly runs in the family, it was a day for the mother-daughter link-ups, with Sharon providing a perfect assist for Cerys to slot home, solidifying the win for Broxbourne and capping off a fantastic performance for Cerys and the attacking players.

At the other end, Broxbourne’s defence had little to do in terms of actual defending for the majority of the game, but that didn’t mean they sat back. Instead, they pushed higher up the pitch, offering supportive runs that kept the pressure on Shefford & Sandy and ensured the game was played almost entirely in the opposition’s half.

Lauren proved herself to be unpopular with the opposition, but was unnerved as she moved into top of the diamond.

Meanwhile, on the sideline, Coach Matt spent the first day of his new age in a state of unfamiliar relaxation—not having heart palpitations and actually enjoying the game rather than inhaling and stressing deeply. A rare sight indeed. Whether it was the team’s dominant performance or simply the fact that no one had (yet) injured themselves carrying their ‘kitbags’, we may never know, but for once, he could breathe easy and enjoy the game.

The dying moments of the game saw ‘the goal that could have been’ when Hannah Fixter lanched and unexpected aerial into the D to Fixy, who was waiting for that deflection moment, but just missed it. It definitely would’ve won goal of the season.

It was also fantastic to have Grace on the sideline, adding to the team spirit and support. Whether it was words of encouragement, tactical insight, or just witnessing the sheer madness of our kit transportation choices, her presence was much appreciated!

In the end, it was a real team effort, with every player playing their part in unlocking Shefford & Sandy’s stubborn defence. The 3-0 victory was well-earned, and while the team could now proudly celebrate the win, one lesson remained: if you're going to show up with your kit in a childhood pram, you really have to win.

Final Score: Broxbourne 3-0 Shefford & Sandy

Player of the match went to Fixy for some incredible ‘Hannah style’ runs and determination in taking the ball down the wings.

Donkey went to Kirsty for the no stick situation.

Final Thoughts: A great performance, a great laugh, and a great excuse to never carry a kit bag again and a special mention to Alice, who although didn’t have a different kit bag, did drive herself ON HER OWN for the first time, as she passed her driving test. A well done also to Olivia, who maintained her pilates driven success as she played and scored for the 2s this week.

For those who don’t follow the Ladies 3s Instagram page, you may have missed out on some truly spectacular content from this ‘bring your kit in anything but a kit bag’ challenge. We highly recommend you check it out—because words alone cannot do justice to the sight of a Hannah’s pose and leg flick as she entered the pitch.

The team celebrated together in the sunshine watching the Ladies 1s and Men’s 1s take well earned victories against Ipswich.

Next week the team are away at Berkhampsted and Hemel.

Ladies 1s vs Ipswich 1s - 2-1 win

Goal scorers: Finch & Em
Assists: Meg S x2
Player: Tor
Donkey: Meg S

We started out with some trepidation in the match against Ipswich as we knew they were several places higher than us in the league table (and indeed played in the National League last year) – the first positive was that the weather was amazing (well, if you were sitting on the sunny side of the pitch!)

The first victory was winning the battle of the changing rooms – Ipswich had dared occupy the home team’s changing area – but not for long – Em soon gave them their marching orders and order was restored.

Notwithstanding being booted out of the changing room, Ipswich were actually very complimentary about the youthfulness of the Broxbourne team remarking at how young the team was. But Meg S just had to burst the bubble by correcting them that in fact there were only three young players on the team!

On the pitch, Broxbourne continued to dominate, taking early control of the match – two short corners were awarded to Broxbourne. The first was a dress rehearsal, but the second was spectacularly played out with Em, who fooled the opponents with her trickery to give Broxbourne an early lead.

Due to various members of the team deciding to take holiday during the season or injury, hats off to those who stepped up to play out of position – special mention to Martha who turned into a wall in defence.

Ipswich put up even more of a fight in the second half, however, Kim wasn’t going to let them get past her and neither was Tor, Finch, Skipp or Martha who stayed tight in defence.

After many more great attacks from Ellie, Nads, Meg S and Florrie a flick was awarded to Broxbourne. Finch was clinical in the conversion taking Broxbourne 2-0 up.

Ipswich then turned it up a notch again, really putting our team under pressure. They finally secured a short corner which unfortunately caught by a Broxbourne foot which expertly redirected the ball into our goal taking it to 2-1.

Willsy, Em, Darcy and Hannah then played a blinder keeping the Ipswich attackers at bay during the final moments of the match – no mean feat given the opposition took off their goalie to give themselves an extra outfielder.

The final whistle blew, much to everyone’s relief – a 2-1 victory secured for the badgers.

Sadly, a couple of our players took injuries for the team. Em got hit on the lip, so won’t be needing any lip fillers for a while and Finch is going in for some plastic surgery… for her thumb. But in all seriousness, we hope you are both ok and make a quick recovery.

At match teas Tor was awarded player of the match, with Meg S as donkey for the ageist comment.

Mens 1s vs Ipswich 1s - 4-3 win

Goal scorers: Matt x4
Assists: Hoppo x3
Player: Matt
Donkey: Reggie, Ryan & Stan
Cards: Josh (green) 

Over the weekend, Broxbourne Men’s 1st hosted Ipswich, and the boys were absolutely buzzing to turn things around after last week’s, well, let’s call it a “performance”. The game started with Broxbourne under a bit of pressure, but our defense was prepared due to some well timed and thought out tactics discussion before the match.

Soon enough the tide turned resulting in Broxburn striking first. A perfect push-out, a solid stop, and Director Mitch instructing Matt Menear to go bottom left resulted in the first goal. Ipswich did manage to sneak in a cheeky goal – but it did not concern us for long as we were too busy scoring four goals from four flicks to care. Some deserved, others, well, let’s just say “fortunate”.

Halftime score: 4-1.

Then came the second half, where Broxbourne decided to make life a little harder for ourselves, because why not? We spent most of it on the back foot, trying to remember the last time we made it look easy. A green card to Josh Chapman for his classic shoulder barge and some sloppy play all around gave Ipswich a glimmer of hope, as they scored two goals to bring it to 4-3.

In the final minutes, a few Broxbourne defenders tried their best to gift Ipswich the win by casually passing the ball straight to their strikers. But luckily, recovery is something our defenders is quite versed in and they managed to turn disaster into "not disaster" and ensured no more goals were scored.

Final result was a 4-3 well earned win after a typical day of making it difficult for ourselves.

Mens 4s vs MBDA 1s - 1-1 draw

Goal scorers: Henry
Assists: Andy
Player: Henry

After a week off Broxbourne 4s took on MBDA at a sunny Mill Lane on Saturday. Andy H continued a winning run with the toss (4 weeks and counting) and opted to play into the sun for the first half. For the first 20 mins or so it appeared the fallow week had clearly relaxed the team a little too much, with some bad old habits re-emerging like watching the player with the ball struggling by themselves instead of moving to a position to help out. Despite that possession remained fairly even, but MBDA then scored an unmemorable goal from close range. At least I can't remember much about it. This seemed to trigger something in Broxbourne and suddenly we found better control, better movement and confidence began to grow. The rest of the first half was dominated by Brox without reward, although MBDA came close to doubling their lead after a flurry of corners led to several saves by GK Ryan and a goal-line clearance from Andy H.
After a half-time pep talk from Stapes the second half continued where the first ended, with excellent work all round the team. Great movement, accurate passing and solid defence maintained Brox superiority and we eventually got a deserved equaliser from a short, with Shane slipping the ball to Andy H whose pass (ie mis-timed shot) to Henry at the far post was put away from a tight angle. The winner that our play merited did not materialise however, and the game finished 1-1 but it was a very good performance overall with an excellent second half. Just need to switch on a bit earlier!

Away Fixtures 

Ladies 4s vs Letchworth 3s - 5-0 loss 

Player: Jess
Donkey: Ivy

Broxbourne 4s faced a challenging encounter against Letchworth in their latest fixture, ultimately falling to a 5-0 defeat. Despite a determined effort from Broxbourne, Letchworth proved to be too strong on the day, showcasing clinical finishing and a well-organized team structure.

The match began with both sides showing intent, but it was Letchworth who took control early on. With swift passing and strong positional play, they managed to break through Broxbourne's defense.

Broxbourne battled hard to regain their composure, but Letchworth's attacking pressure continued to build. Broxbourne found it difficult to break down Letchworth’s defense, who were quick to close down any potential attacking opportunities.
First half finishing 3-0 to Letchworth

In the second half, Broxbourne showed resilience, trying to push forward and create chances. However, Letchworth remained strong, and they added a fourth goal from a short corner. The Broxbourne kept fighting with a few runs to their attacking end but it not quite finding the back of the goal.

The final blow came in the last few minutes of the match, as Letchworth sealed their dominant performance with a fifth goal, effectively putting the game out of reach for Broxbourne.
Despite the defeat, Broxbourne's players continued to give their all, showing fight until the final whistle.

Player of the match went to Jess because Annie said so but the real reason was for gritty performance and lots of great running.

Donkey of the day went to Ivy for leaving her phone in the changing rooms and not realising until after the game when the team gathered round to present it to her.

Ladies 2s vs St Albans 4s - 4-1 win

Goal scorers: Jess, Ella, Olivia & Lara
Assists: Jess, Millie, Gemma x2
Player: Lara
Donkey: Millie 

Broxbourne Ladies 2s ventured to St Albans this weekend in a must win game in order to continue their promotion campaign. Despite the importance of each game as we near the end of the season, half of the team had coerced to take time out all at once. Rumour has it they were participating in a closed door session creating costumes for the upcoming Charcuterie Board social. Speculation on costumes remains unsettled but the odds favour Emily as sm-emily cheese and Vic as vanilla ice cream (of course, to show off her tan following a two week venture in the sun).

Despite being abandoned by Beth, Emily, Vic and Ali (and the rest) our rising star, one season one game wonder, Sarah, stepped up to replace all four of our missing players. Following a strategic session and motivating team talk by the captain [emphasis added], the badgers were ready to take on St Albans. The badgers start the game with the ball (another success from the skipper) and Jess takes no chances with an attacking self start to kick off the game. This was shortly followed by an assist which saw Ella smashing the ball at the back of the goal. 1-0 Badgers.

The badgers were settled into the game and the team were playing textbook fast passing play. Triple Ls in the middle (Lara, Lauren and Lydia) controlled the game with perfect distributions and weighted balls leaving Broxbourne with a large spell of possession. Some great attacking play by Kelly and Gem led to a badgers short corner. A rejig from the agreed short corner by Millie led to a right slip assist to see Olivia bury the ball into the back of the net. 2-0 Badgers.

Another empowering speech by the best captain the 2s has ever had pumped the team up for the second half. It was another early goal in this half which started from a perfectly executed transfer from the defence, Sue, Baz, Millie and Sarah which led to Jess tapping in to make it 3-0 to the Badgers. Another squad L, Lily, denied any chances St Albans had. Some beautiful solo play by Lara secured the fourth goal (on an extremely tight angle). 4-0 badgers.

The rest of the game was irrelevant. 4-1 win to the badgers securing their position at the top of the table with a 3 point lead and a game in hand. Girl maths calculates that a win in our next three games should be enough to become the East Women’s Division 2 South West Champions.

Player of the match was awarded to Lara for incredible play, passes and goal. Special mentions went to Ella, Sarah and Gem. Shout out to our manager Lisa who kept the team well organised whilst still holding the title as the team’s fashionista. Donkey of the day went to Millie because everyone is really jealous that she is the best player in the team and an attacking powerhouse.

We look forward to the return of some missing players and wait in anticipation to find out whether Vic has finally completed her “personal” journal.

Ladies 2s take on Bishops Stortford at home on Wednesday 19th March, pushback at 8:30pm. A win for the ladies 2s is likely to secure promotion for the season. Make sure you get down to the pitch early on Wednesday to secure your place in the stands!

Mens 3s vs Shefford & Sandy 2s - 2-0 win 

Goal scorers: KP & Cranners
Assists: Trevor & James DS
Player: Rudd
Cards: KP (green)

Brox 3s not pretty but 3 points, is one step closer to promotion.

Saturday saw the lads travel to, what seems to be the boogey team for the club, Shefford and Sandy.

An extended warm up graciously given by the umpires of 10 minutes got the guys sweating, but still not talking.

First half was a very one sided affair. Brox started the game quickly, taking the ball and not sharing. The defensive line of Russ, Tom, fin and Ruddy were allowed to pass to each other whilst S&S happily watched.

The break through come 15 mins into the game, after slap pass into midfield found the gap for Trevor Mellor to bring the ball into the opposition half. Trevor then broke into the final 3rd and passed through into the space ready for KP who with the audacity to stop and lift the ball over the keeper and watch the ball drop into the open goal. Hockey, completed it!

1-0 to brox and starting to purr they again found another opportunity, the space being gifted to the attacking line was once again punished. James DS dazzled the crowd, by nicking the ball and running through, with great composure from the Young man found Club Veteran Cranners who confidently converted a beautiful strike, giving a somewhat comfortable position. Brox continued the attacks, unfortunately unable to convert chances.

Half time was a little less positive from the talk, ball watching being the main talking point.
Leading on from this gentle telling off, the game unfortunately wasn't put to bed.

S&S found themselves dominating possession in the second half. Thankfully, brox fantasy podcast (if you haven't listened, well your loss) will have a clean sheet to discuss. The defensive line stood firm and with special mention going to MoM Ruddy making a beautiful goal line clearance, the S&S attacker, who could do damage watched a drag flick picked off of the line.

The men had decided just before Xmas break to lose the Donkey vote, however this week there would have been one winner. Wyatt making a name for himself as always showed us how to slip, land flat on your face and send you own hockey Stick 10 meters the other direction (Jeremy Beadle would have been proud to show this on telly).

Another card was dished out to KP again this week. Umpires decided that people were not retreating 5 from break downs in play, and smiled whilst gifting KP a 2 minute break.

Next week we face Rickmansworth at Home, 14.30 PB, in which a win will be enough to see the men go up into Div 3 SW

Mens 2s vs Letchworth 2s - 8-0 win

Goal scorers: Kav x2, Bobby x2, Baller, Sully, Jake & Angus
Assists: Angus x2, Kav Jnr, Jack, Kav, Will, Baller & Sully
Player: Bobby
Donkey: Kav
Cards: Angus (green)

Is the curse of the Garden Cities finally over?

As mentioned before, the 2s haven’t been the same since the game against Welwyn. Just thinking about it now is bringing me up in a cold sweat! The trip to Letchworth on Saturday caused the boys to have a sleepless Friday night. Nightmares of last season’s visit resulting in a 5-3 loss, one of only two the whole season, were playing on all our minds. Like Welwyn, Letchworth hasn’t been a happy hunting ground in the past for the mighty 2s and, just like last season, they were faced against a side struggling to pick up points. This had all the hallmarks of this poor run of form continuing, making the drive up an ominous one, dreading what lay ahead.

However the mood, once in the changing room, was lifted by Bobby and Joe talking about how a local alcoholic was making £4k a day and wasting it all on the fruit machine, people’s exes, and the length of everyone’s sticks. Just a little insight into our changing room chat.

The match started well, Baller picked out the oncoming Sully who hit an absolute rocket of a strike, getting the keeper on the helmet. The ball rebounded back to him and with the keeper still dazed, Sully coolie placed the ball into the open goal.

Feeling hungry for more, the 2s pushed on. Aware that he was on a bit of a drought, Baller wanted to reward those that had continued to back him with more than just an assist in the fantasy points, most importantly capitalising on his self-captaincy. He duly delivered, doubling his goal involvements and doubling the score. Bobby, wanting to get in on the action having missed the last couple of weeks through injury, made it 3-0 just a minute later. Apologies, after the Bar Olympics and a night of celebration I hope I can be forgiven for the lack of detail about these goals.

Just before the half time whistle was blown Angus, feeling energised by his pre match bag of Minstrels and can of Monster, had the ball in the back of the net, Jnr doing well to keep the ball alive and pass across goal to find him. The miss just beforehand maybe playing a part in deciding not to go for goal himself.

Ten minutes into the second half this all changed. Three goals in the space of two minutes rubbed salt into the wounds (probably caused by falling over on a very sandy, dry pitch). The first, a P-flick slotted home by Kav. The second, a wonder goal from Jake, back to goal, he received a pass from Angus, flicked it up as it went across his body and on the half volley, sent it packing through the keeper’s legs. The third on the other hand, not so glamorous. Kav twisting and turning managed to sit the keeper down, run past him and on his reverse, hit it. However, it didn’t hit the back of the goal, he hooked it past the far post only for the defender to kick it in. I can only assume he must’ve been getting second hand embarrassment at missing the open goal and felt sorry for Kav. We’ll never know if the spin was going to take it over the line without the defender’s intervention, but his protests were too loud to argue with.

Bobby finished off the scoring with another goal of the season contender. Running into the D having beaten a defender, he pulled the trigger nearly breaking the back of the net. Showing us all why he went with a longer stick. Maybe having an extra inch is beneficial.

Coming up this week...

Wednesday 19th March
Home Fixtures
8.30pm - Ladies 2s vs Bishops Stortford 3s

Saturday 22nd March
Home Fixtures
11.30am - Ladies 2s vs Saffron Walden 2
1pm - Mens 2s vs Bedford 2
2.30pm - Mens 3s vs Rickmansworth 2
4pm - Ladies 4s vs Bishop's Stortford 7

Away Fixtures
11.30am - Ladies 3s vs Berko & Hemel 3
12pm - Ladies 1s vs Cambridge City 3
1.30pm - Mens 1s vs Letchworth 1
4pm - Mens 4s vs Stevenage 4
4pm - Ladies 5s vs St Albans 8

Big thanks to Jack for holding the socials, fantasy and match report duty up for the last two weeks. Now the home stretch before the end of the season.

Two final socials to get excited for:
Saturday 29th March - BHC end of season party
Saturday 26th April - Badger Ball - buy your tickets now! 50% sold.