The Ladies 3’s took to their final game of the season with a bit of pressure hanging over them as to whether they could get the win and hope for promotion dependent on another game’s result going their way.

With the game time being moved to an earlier slot,due to St Albans playing in a cup semifinal on the following day, it meant an early start for the team but one they would appreciate, once they had the rest of the day to watch games and enjoy the weather. Despite it already being an early start, some of the team had been up since the wee small hours after a very early text from absent team member Tara (5:52am to be precise!),who was at PGL doing the similar ‘work’ that Kirsty had done the week before! Then of course Lauren, who was attending her best friend’s wedding and was in the make up chair, wishing us luck.

Upon arrival to the pitch, there was a slight panic when no one knew the code, but thanks to the wonderful Broxbourne Ladies WhatsApp group, we were able to enter the field. The previous encounter between St Albans and Broxbourne had gone in the favour of the badgers however, as every team member arrived, the dialogue changed to how nervous everyone was. The team knew that they could only do their best and that they needed to enjoy and show the skills that they’d displayed all season. The nervous energy really hit its peak, when Sharon announced she’d already had 2 nervous poos and then the realisation that the director of warm-ups was not with us this week and therefore we were left to fend for ourselves.

Thankfully though, after her absence last week navigating the slopes of France, Olivia and her hair arrived on point with her heatless rollers having worked wonders. She arrived buoyant in both mood and hair style and this in turn raised the spirits of the team mates.

It was great to also have Grace back for the final game of the season , who was determined to ‘grace’ the field one more time with the team this season under the watchful eye of Maz. As well as this, we were very thankful to Ella W for hot footing it back from Brighton to join her old teammates and put her defending skills from university to good use.

The sun was out and then so was the Timelapse video, with the team completing a full warmup and a bundle to end the pre match session.

Before the game begun, a plea from Coach Matt, who was attending at the helm for the final time with the Ladies 3s (don’t talk too much about it we are all still in the early stages of grief and in denial!) His wish was for us to not make him have to shout or lose his mind because he wanted the lasting memory to be a good one… nah just kidding, he had a raging hangover!

The game started and Broxbourne took control. They had the speed on the opposition but needed to work round some well structured St Albans defenders. Despite the dominance, there was an early scare as St Albans caught the high press from Broxbourne off guard and chased back. A couple of minutes of defending and a superb save off the line by Rachel, kept the visitors goalless and gave Broxbourne the boost they needed to score.

In the 15th minute an assist from Cerys saw Hannah slot the first one home from a perfectly positioned stick to wrong foot the keeper. The display was much appreciated by the coaches, who have spent all season trying to teach us deflection techniques! It is also important to mention that Hannah did in fact turned strong and in doing so, gave the sassiest look to the coaches that she could!

The second goal didn’t take long and came four minutes later when Olivia spurred on by her salonstyled curls, set up Fixter for another goal.

The first half ended 2-0 , but Broxbourne knew they had more in the tank. The team were very appreciative of the supporters who showed up for their final game. A positive speech from Josh and Matt spurred the team on and they entered back on the field trying to extend the lead even further.

And they did… Fixter,still reeling from Josh’s comment a few weeks ago, was eager to still prove that she is the best Fixter and set up a great Laura goal. This was quickly followed at the restart by another.After an interception from Tors, who stopped the St Albans attack down the side, she powered a ball through to Cerys, who flipped it onto her reverse stick and hit a blinder! The realisation that Tors actually got an assist this season added to the excitement of that crowd pleasing goal.

Less than three minutes later came another Cerys goal. This time normality was restored with the partnership with Hannah, who assisted Cerys in sinking another one into the back of the net.

St Albans did not give up and found an opportunity to get one back. A fantastic save from Emma saw the deflected ball fall to the feet of a St Albans attacker and a consolation was found for the opposition.

But wait… Alice was not having our lead reduced and from the restart dribbled the ball single-handedly through every line of the St Albans team, she finally hit the brake, passed a slick ball to Cerys who scored another.

The battle of the Fixters continued as mum and daughter battled for bragging rights and Jane ending the match with another goal from a Cerys assist.

The opportunities came thick and fast for Broxbourne got some great stops from the St Albans keeper and saw them kept at bay and whilst it didn’t result in a goal, a special mention has to go to Tors who found herself in the attacking D and spurred on by the surprised attackers launched a powerful shot on target, which was narrowly saved by the keeper. Another memorable quote from Josh, who bellowed ‘Who do you think you are!?!’

With a game ending 7-1, Broxbourne ended what has been a phenomenal season. From near relegation last season to their near promotion this season It has been so much fun and with some new faces amongst the regular ones, we couldn’t have enjoyed our Saturdays or laughed any more!

Player went to Cerys and Alice
Donkey to Cerys.

A final position of 3rd was definitely one to be proud of.

Now for our thank yous….

Thank you to our amazing coaches Matt and Josh, who seriously put up with so much every Wednesday from us! We are eternally grateful for their efforts and although Matt is leaving us, we do have video evidence that he said he would come and watch us!

Thanks to our club captains Finch and Tor for rallying behind us and taking on the headache that is league logistics.

Thanks to Lisa and Al for the podcast mentions, we will continue the plumbing attempts and hope for more beef with you both next season.

Thanks to everyone who has stepped up or adjusted plans to help us at different points during the season, we couldn’t have done it without you!

And finally, a massive thank you to our captain Hannah, who has been amazing and led the team superbly. Who knows where we’d be without her quick runs down the wing and her team sheets that require editing several times due to multiple inaccuracies.

Ladies 5s vs Blueharts 6 - 2-0 loss

Player: Kirsty
Donkey: Shannon

We were at home at the very sensible time of 11.30am and arrived in time to see the ladies’ 3s victory! Also gave us enough time to get ready for the evenings social…. The sun was shining and we had a great supporting crowd – thanks for watching.

It was a tough game as Blueharts had some quick, skillful youngsters but we managed to keep them to 0-0 at half time. Em noted at half time that we needed to stop playing the ball through the middle and use the width of the pitch. I felt that we certainly did this more in the second half.

We managed to hold them at bay until the last 15 minutes when we let them get 2 over the line within 5 minutes. We managed to create a number of chances ourselves but weren’t able to convert these. We kept the pressure on until the final whistle and started pushing up the pitch more but ended at 0-2.

Overall, we were pleased with the performance and take away more to work on. We have our last game of the season next week away to Letchworth so fingers crossed!

Player this week votes were for Lorraine, Chloe, Fran, Ava and Kirsty but Kirsty got most overall so well done! Donkey was close between Mia for her dramatic tumble and Shannon for leaving her bag at the pitch – Shannon clinched it!

It was lovely to see so many of the 5’s at the end of season social. I believe we fielded a team of 8! Looking forward to the badger ball.

Mens 1s vs Bishop's Stortford 1 - 3-3 draw

Goal scorers: Matt, Toby & Mitch
Assists: Stan, Hoppo & Paddy
Player: Ed, Paddy & Ryan
Donkey: Reggie
Cards: Charlie (green)

On Saturday the Broxbourne Men’s 1st team closed their season at home against Bishop Stortford. Going into the game, the Badgers knew that they had done enough to secure their place in the league for next year however the lads were keen to settle scores after Stortford nicked a late goal to win the reverse fixture.

Broxbourne started fast and were immediately on the scoresheet as Menear buried another flick from a penalty corner, continuing his excellent form in front of goal. In a pattern that followed the reverse fixture, Bishop Stortford scored next after a crash ball into the D made it through a sea of players and landed to the Stortford striker to deflect past Thomas. As the first half continued, both teams seemed determined to entertain with forwards finding lots of space and chances being created. It was Broxbourne though who were able to capitalise on their chances and took the lead. This time Hopson Snr playing a perfectly weighted pass to Toby House at the top of the D for the striker to ruthlessly strike into the bottom corner. However Broxbourne were unable to hold the lead for long as Stortford stole the ball at the top of the Broxbourne D and punished the error making the scores 2-2 at half time.

The second half stayed in the same way as the first with Broxbourne taking early control. Paddy Lee came up with the assist, finding Mitch Chapman in the D to rifle it passed the Stortford keeper. Celebrations inspired by the previous Ladies 3s game ensued. Lee had his best game in a Broxbourne shirt and the Badgers will miss his presence in the middle of the pitch alongside the selfless work-rate of Ethan Fox in the forward line. Yet again though, the Badgers were unable to close the game 10 mins later Stortford equalised to make the game 3-3 going into the final 20 mins. As the game progressed into the closing stages, errors started to creep into the play of both sides. Ryan Thomas made some excellent saves in the Broxbourne goal to keep the scores level including a double save where Stortford had looked certain to score. Access denied!

The game finished 3-3 in what had been another thrilling encounter for the neutral. Paddy, Ryan and Bert shared man of the match votes with Reggie being awarded donkey for inexplicably losing sight of the ball in the air. Broxbourne celebrated in traditional style with three man, boat races and the club social.

Thank you to the team and all those involved in supporting the 1st team this season! The Badgers can be proud of retaining their place in the Premier division following promotion last season and can enjoy a well earned break over Summer!

Ladies 1s vs Harleston Magpies 2 - 4-3 loss

Goal scorers: Meg S, Charlotte HG & Becky
Assists: Em x2 & Skipp
Player: Martha
Donkey: Martha
Cards: Becky (green)

*Britney Badgers*

As the players entered the changing room for our final match, team captain Ellie had decorated the doorway, encouraging everyone to showcase their best dance moves on entrance. It was a fun way to start the day, ensuring everyone was ready to ‘Hit me baby one more time’ with their best energy. Before the match kicked off, the team gathered for their last warm-up of the season, lead by head warm-up coach Esme, who ensured everyone was primed and ready for the match ahead - which was against top-of-the-table Harleston Magpies. Despite the challenge of facing the league leaders, Broxbourne demonstrated resilience and skill throughout the game, dominating the majority of play.

The first breakthrough came from Meg S, who scored a brilliant goal from around the penalty spot, expertly slotting the ball past the Harleston goalkeeper to give Broxbourne a well-deserved lead. The team worked tirelessly across all lines, with Meg T, Skipp, Tor and Bench putting in a solid shift in defence. However, despite our best efforts, we were unable to stop Magpies putting one away and equalising the score to 1-1

Broxbourne’s second goal put them back into the lead - ‘oops.. I did it again!’ This was won from a short corner, where Bench hammered it home after an assist from Em. Special shout-out to Bench for her brilliant performance with no sign of any ‘Toxic’ jet-lag effects - despite only just arriving back into the country hours before! Her Australian heat training was put to good use as the match was a warm and bright day, with plenty of supporters coming out to watch. Also supporting from the sidelines were Finch and Al, who took on coaching roles and offered guidance and encouragement throughout the game. Both players’ absences were felt on the pitch (‘my loneliness is killing me’) and we wish you speedy recoveries from injury!

Halftime began at a 2-2 draw after Magpies scored again, and captain Ellie gathered the team for a motivational talk - urging everyone to ‘Gimme More’ energy for the second half. Hard work from the midfield and defensive lines allowed Broxbourne to move the ball up the pitch and create the opportunity for our third and final goal. This was scored by Charlotte, who deflected it cleanly after a brilliant assist by Skipp

Harleston scored a third goal, and Broxbourne entered the final minutes of the match 3-3, feeling confident after a strong performance and making the decision to sub off goalkeeper Kim. Unfortunately, this move led to a last-minute concession from an unjustly awarded short corner, as Harleston Magpies capitalized and scored. Whilst this was an unfortunate final goal, the whole team should be proud of their performance both on Saturday and throughout the season. Post-match, many of the Badgers returned to the clubhouse in full Britney attire, with sightings of a bald Britney, cowgirl Britney, denim Britney and many more.

Both player and donkey went to Martha, after some confusion involving her attempt to play on without holding her stick - as Britney once sang ‘how was I supposed to know, that something wasn’t right?’

Mens 4s vs Hertford 6 - 8-0 loss

Player: Luke
Donkey: Harrison

Match report pending.

Away Fixtures

Ladies 2s vs Welwyn Garden City 1 - 1-0 win

Goal scorer: Gemma
Assist: Lydia
Player: Lydia, Ella & Beth
Donkey: Lisa

Step into the Ladies 2s changing room with me (not in a weird way) and meet the personalities who after 7 long hard years have finally delivered the Division 2 South West League Title...

The management team:

Millie "I might be on holiday for that game" Leonard
Our strong willed captain fantastic, with silky skills to compliment a well maintained tan, steers the team to victory from her top of the diamond post.
Super-skill: Reverse Shave Tackles
Goals: 2
Assists: 3
Clean sheets: 9

Vic "check out my Vietnamese dong" Boulton
Our caring vice-captain, always offering a positive word or a home baked brownie when needed, demonstrates the necessary killer instinct in the attacking D and in the bar afterwards. Her straight strikes have been on point and her match stick tactics are commendable
Super-Skill: Reverse tomahawk/chocolate brownies
Goals: 9
Assists: 5

Defence:

Ali "Gossip Girl" Deol
This high paced northerner saves goals off the line again and again for the full 90 minutes, making sure Lily isn't left as one lonely girl in the goal mouth! A demon at right or left back and a great motivator.
Super-skill: match saving tackles/match reports/her cousin is good craic
Clean Sheets: 8

Baz "got donkey for volunteering to umpire" Sparrey
Baz holds the defence together with her great communication, marking and flat stick tackles. She may wear skinny jeans but she's so cool she's on the England over 45s squad and her aerials rock!
Super-skill: Reverse stick picks
Goals:1
Assists:1
Clean Sheets: 12

Becky "I'll let the captain take the card" Scarrott
A crucial addition at the start of the season, she got the 2s off to a flying start with her disguise slap and left slip genius. She's not cool enough to hang out with Jess in Hackney but her baby is mega cute and her personality ain't bad!
Super-skill: not owning up to umpires
Goals:6
Assists:3
Clean Sheets:4

Sue "I'm only sassy on the pitch" Thomas
Sue holds up the right hand side of defence and distributes down the line and into midfield with panache and her trade mark sass, which the odd time umpires are even on the receiving end of!
Super-skill: The occasional monster aerial
Clean Sheets: 12

Lisa "left lung" Banahan
Her lack of lung capacity is only matched by her lack of goal awareness, scoring her first league goal of her 10 year career for Broxbourne this season
Super-skill: Fashion sense
Goals: 1
Assists: 4
Clean sheets: 4

Lily "The Dancing Squashie" Hawthorne
Our incredible keeper who has kept us in games all season with spectacular saves
and the odd transfer around the back when things get a bit sticky! She may be delayed the odd time by trips to the eye hospital but there's nothing wrong with her eyesight!
Super-skill: Dramatic diving saves!
Clean sheets: 11

Midfield:

Lauren "I'm not bothered doing the fantasy league" Evans
This super skillful but sassy lass dazzles the opposition with her stick work and her sass earns her the odd card! Dangerous from a left slip, she's been key to the Badgers league win
Super-skill: Getting around 3 players
Goals: 3
Assists: 7

Lydia "let's talk physics" House
This energiser bunny is unbeatable for pace and piles the pressure on the opposition to gain ball turnover. She's got an eye for a short corner right slip and keeps things real by performing science experiments in her spare time.
Super-skill: 3D stick skills
Goals: 2
Assists: 4

Lara "guess what I got in my Maths test" Luka
Step aside Alan Turring, cause this Mathematician can also play hockey! Just watch her run through the opposition, have the best inject in the league, score a goal and make her mum drive home and back to get her fake ID...all in a day's work.
Super-skill: Injection Queen
Goals: 4
Assists: 4

Isobel "who wears skinny jeans?" Kent
This midfielder leads the way on fashion and on work ethic on the pitch and played a key role pre Christmas in our unbeaten run. She may have gone to Australia but we're still all anxious the tik tok pumpkin cake may return!
Super-skill: Injections
Goals: 0
Assists: 1

Darcy "the bobbler" Lowe
Darcy's skill and distribution bolstered the midfield this season, and her dodgy straight strike saved us from a shock loss vs Shefford and Sandy. If you think her bobbly strike is dodgy, you should see her mud cake!
Super-skill: playing great hungover
Goals: 2
Assists: 2

Emily "I want to be a charcuterie board" Boxall
This dynamic midfielder loves to use short passes (particularly to her sister) to make space in midfield, and her skills and pace and positive attitude only add to the goals and assists she has earned us!
Super-skill: Smiling playing hockey and great on a deflection
Goals: 6
Assists: 3

Ella "I play every position" Booth
This versatile and skillful player has literally played forward, midfield and attack this season! She might get the odd bruise but the opposition feel the brunt from all the goals she scores!
Super-skill: scoring goals!
Goals: 5
Assists: 2

Attack:

Jess "I have an apprentice" Iszatt
Jess is the coolest person on our team by a long way, and a sensational pacey forward who leaves defenders shaking in their boots when she comes to hunt them down. She has put the team back on the map with her social media work and has scored a few worldies this season
Super-skill: running full pace at defenders
Goals: 8
Assists: 5

Gemma "Fox in the box" Wilkinson
This stick-blocking stunner has earned so many short corners this season and scored a crucial goal in the crucial Bishop's Stortford derby game to secure promotion for her squad. She enjoys nice chats with the umpires which sometimes mean she leaves the pitch, but only because she's so misunderstood... but she has avoided Millie's naughty corner for the entire second half of the season!
Super-skill: sneaky changing room gin tinnies
Goals: 5
Assists: 9

Beth "I'm getting a badger tattoo" Boxall
Beth has pledged to get a Badger tattoo if the ladies 2s secure promotion, so we cant wait to see it Beth!!! Beth has thrown herself around in the goal mouth this season and shows composure in the final third of the pitch and silky skills to win corners!
Super-skill: deflections!
Goals: 3
Assists: 3

Kelly "I'm in charge of the ick list" Jennings
Kelly has been a key part of the Badger's press this season and she been winning short corners and getting assists particularly in the second half of the season. Her communication and motivation plus her slicked back hair are never anything but perfection.
Super-skill: pressing
Goals: 1
Assists: 6

Ladies 4s vs St Albans 7 - 10-1 loss

Goal scorer: Jo A
Assist: Aaliyah
Player: Jo, Lisa & Rachel
Donkey: Frankie

The Last Stand

Broxbourne 4s headed to Oaklands Academy to face St Albans in their final league game of the 2024/25 campaign.

With the sun shining and Captain Lisa giving her final pre-game hype of the season, the team headed onto the pitch for the warm up, with one thing missing… the balls. Aaliyah gratefully ran to get them from Frankie’s car parked the furthest from the pitch possible, thus awarding her with Donkey before the game began. - Note from the author: In my defence, I had other important items to carry on the day like a bottle of Prosecco for the end of the game! -

The match began and as much as Brox tried to get hold of the ball, it wasn’t long before St Albans intentions became clear - score lots of goals and take the final game far too seriously, despite the result not affecting final league standings for either team (no promotion or relegation!).

Towards the end of the first half, Brox managed to get a consolation goal. With a nice hit from Lisa in defence to Alice on the mid line, the ball was played to Aaliyah who powered into the circle, passed to Jo who shot the ball into the backboard. 6-1 St Albans (maybe? We lost count after 4).

The second half was decidedly better from Broxbourne with lots more passing, successful tackles and runs into the circle however aside from a last minute save by the St Albans keeper, Broxbourne’s chances were sadly limited. Final score ended 10-1.

After 20 games played for the season, the 4s finished in 10th having won 2, drew 8 (which annoyed the top half of the table to no end!) and lost 10. A shout out must go to the few stalwart spectators for their unwavering support at each game (including man of the match nominee, Annie!), and a massive thank you from all of the 4s to Lisa for organising us and steering the team when we needed it the most.

Bring on the Badger Ball and some much needed R&R before summer league starts!

Mens 2s vs Bishop's Stortford 2 - 5-3 loss

Goal scorers: Baller x2 & Bobby
Assists: Jack, Browny & Elliot
Player: Baller
Donkey: Kav Jnr
Cards: Bobby (green)

Badgers Feeling Flat After Finale Defeat

Going into the final game of the season gunning for 4th, hopes were high for a respectable finish in our first season following promotion. Of course, the more pressing motivator was securing those all-important fantasy points. The sun was shining, spirits were high, but perhaps a touch of complacency had crept in—an undoing that would soon become apparent.

Numbers had dwindled since mid-season, leaving us with a bare eleven, plus an injured Browny offering moral support, but of course wouldn’t play - he promised his wife! Morale remained intact despite a few fashionably late arrivals and some navigational misadventures. Browny’s inspiring warm-up routine set the tone for a confident start.

The game began evenly, but in classic Badgers fashion, discipline—or lack thereof—made an early appearance. The umpire, clearly unimpressed with Bobby’s conversational skills, asked if he wanted to continue his chat elsewhere. Bobby, never one to back down, took the offer and earned himself a green card for his troubles. The Badgers promptly struck first, with Baller rifling home an unstoppable effort off a short corner, proving once again that he is a nightmare for defenders in the D.

However, the lead didn’t last long as Stortford found their way through, equalising to keep things tight. Undeterred, the Badgers pressed on. Bobby, fresh from his sin-bin stint, found himself in a tangle in the D but emerged victorious, slotting one home to restore the lead. Heading into halftime 2-1 up, there was optimism in the huddle, but definitely lots to be improved. Stortford weren’t unbeatable, but there was a lingering sense that the game was far from over.

Browny decided to take the field for the second half, hobbling on despite his injury. Coincidence or (probably) not, the team’s performance took a hit, and Stortford pounced, sneaking an equaliser past Joe at his near post. The game became stretched, with Badgers clinging on, but Baller once again stepped up, hammering a reverse stick effort into the bottom corner—a strike that earned him a well-deserved MOTM.

Unfortunately, that was as good as it got. The lack of fresh legs took its toll, and Stortford, armed with an army of youthful substitutes rocking broccoli haircuts, began to dictate the tempo. Sloppy passing and sluggish decision-making crept in, and the opposition capitalised, punishing us with two clinical short corners to turn the game on its head.

The final whistle blew with the scoreboard reading 5-3, leaving the Badgers dejected but at least with a night of pizza, drinks, and some questionable costume choices to look forward to. A frustrating end to an otherwise impressive season.

Mens 3s vs Bishop's Stortford 4 - 2-2 draw

Goal scorers: Russ & Geeza
Assists: Tom
Player: Elliot
Cards: Ruddy (green)

Match report pending.

BHC end of season social
An incredible turn out to our BHC party! Great to see attendance from all teams across the club to celebrate the end of the season. Huge celebrations for our Ladies 2s and Mens 3s, enjoying their promotion excitement!

Coming up this week...

Wednesday 2nd April - Ladies Presentation Evening
We're looking forward to celebrating the successes of the 2024/25 season at our annual Ladies Presentation Evening on Wednesday 2nd April from 7pm. See you all there!

Saturday 5th April
Away Fixtures
10.30am - Ladies 5s vs Letchworth 4

Other things to look forward to in April!

Tuesday 22nd April onwards
Summer league is back! Games will start from Tuesday 22nd April. More details to follow soon.

Saturday 26th April
The Badger Ball is fast approaching, with nearly 80% of tickets sold! If you haven't yet bought one and would like to attend, please message your captain, Vic Boulton or Jack Price for more details. Everyone is welcome and we'd love to see you there.

Tuesday 29th April
AGM - the Annual General Meeting will be held in the club room. More details to follow soon.

We are also running a BHC x ((BOUNCE)) Box class on Tuesday 29th April at 7.45pm. This is a 45-minute fitness class run by ((BOUNCE)), and held at Cranbourne Primary School in Hoddesdon. A number of the Ladies 1s and 2s have already signed up. If you'd like to join in, please book your place via the link here. £7.50 per person.