After a fine run of form for the men’s 2s, under the leadership of interim skipper Jack Price, it all came crashing down against Bedford 2s last week. The team were looking to put that result behind them with a stronger performance at home against Bishops Stortford 2s. The game was always likely to be close, with Stortford just 1 place below Broxbourne in the league, so the Badgers knew they would need to be at their best to get a result in the final game before Christmas.

Captain Jack had decided to give the team a lie in with a slightly later meet time of 9:15 - something most of the team chose to ignore - with some early arrivals (Bobby) and some “very late” arrivals (Stu). Storm Darragh had decided to show itself just in time for the warm up, so both teams were keen to get the game started (and finished) on time.

After the disappointing result last week, Price had decided to rotate the team and give Jake Edwards a rare start up front. This brave decision was rewarded in the first few minutes of the game, after some early pressure from Broxbourne led to Browny playing the ball across the D to Edwards. He calmly slapped the ball into an open net to score his first (of many) for the 2s.

The pressure continued in a similar way for a lot of the first half, however Broxbourne were unable to convert this into more goals. A lapse of concentration just before half time meant Broxbourne would go into the break level at 1-1.

Despite senior players asking for improvement in the second half, this seemed to fall on deaf ears, as Broxbourne struggled to create scoring opportunities. Eventually, after a goalmouth scramble, the ball fell to Jack Price, who made no mistake of putting the Badgers back in front.

All that was needed now, was for the 2s to keep hold of the ball and avoid any silly mistakes for the rest of the game. Obviously resident DJ Matthew “Fatboy Fat” Rudd had not got the memo - he decided to have a swing and a miss at a lofted pass as it bounced over his head (which would later contribute to a shared donkey vote).

As hard as the 2s tried to keep out a Stortford team that had grown in confidence throughout the half, the away side managed to score in the final moments of the game. 2-2.

Player went to Jake because, in Stu’s words, “nothing else was good”, with Donkey going to Ruddy and Riggers. The result leaves Broxbourne 4th in the table going into the Christmas break - which was celebrated in the bar with some help from DJ Ruddymental. The 2s have some time off now until their next game - another early start at home against Stevenage.

Mens 3s vs Bishop's Stortford 3 - 8-1 win

Goal scorers: Russ x3, James DS, Wyatt, Rich, Harrison, KP
Assists: Trev, Wyatt, Rich, Harrison, James S, KP
Player: Simon

The men’s 3s gathered for the last game before the Christmas break for home game versus Bishop Stortford 4s

After positive words in the warmup from the captain KP, the game got underway .

It didn’t take long for the deadlock to be broken with KP firing in a low short corner to get the scoring underway.

The second came a couple of minutes later after another short corner that with a wonderful injection from Wyatt, Russ slung the ball into the bottom corner, 2-0

Within minutes of the restart, Broxbourne were 3 to the good after Trev set up Wyatt who pushed the ball past the out rushing keeper.

Stortford worked hard and created a handful of chances but Simon in goal pulled of save after save to deny stortford any way to get back in the game.

Number 4 came just before halftime when Mellor found himself through one on one with the keeper, he gave the keeper the eyes and slotted home.

The second half got underway and stortford came out with a point to prove, but again Simon was equal to everything they could throw at him.

After being pegged back in their own half for a while Broxbourne got a great phase of possession and made it count with 2 quick goal from short corners, Russ bagging both to give him a hatrick.

Stortford were now wishing for the fulltime whistle, but harrison had other ideas as he picked off a wayward pass in his own half, he outpaced a now exhausted stortford midfield, Smithy screamed for him to cross it to young James who bravely beat the keeper to the ball to make it 7.

A strange call from Russ for a half court press backfired and Stortford grabbed a conciliation goal.

Harrison was having none of it, again robbing the midfield, marauding past the defence and rounding the keeper to slot home, 8-1 was the final score as the whistle blew.

A great performance on a miserable day at Badger field.

Ladies 2s vs Welwyn Garden City 1 - 5-0 win

Goal scorers: Lauren, Vic x2, Emily x2
Assists: Lauren, Gemma, Beth, Millie
Player: Emily
Donkey: Gemma

I come bearing sad news, rather than reporting on what should be a momentous moment for the ladies 2’s I instead have to share news of bullying and general meanness! In what should be a celebrated 5-0 victory, 7 points clear at the top of the league, 11 games unbeaten you will instead hear about team members ganging up on one innocent player.

The day started positively with young cool members of the team loving their weekly making a tik tok fix. The game was fun, loads of people just enjoying their hockey and scoring goals, then ‘the incident’ occurred. The incident was harmless, it made people smile, it allowed people to share their love of hockey and being part of the ‘hot gals’ 2’s, that is until the post match vote! Two external factors helped to contribute to making this silly lifting a ball into your own head such a major incident. 1. Father of fantasy deciding that it is acceptable to record short corners and 2. People saying they can drag out when it is really a bobbled push!
Luckily to stop an innocent team mate from being mocked any further, there are several other incidents that can be reported!

Let’s start with Vic, self titled team Hoe, she had planned all week to look for her next VIC tim and photographic evidence from the evening’s shenanigans show that there were several options! Preparations to woo the elusive paddy had been going on for weeks, matchsticks were ready, sexy Santa glasses were purchased and the team uniform black top was on, then all of the sudden a new man appeared! Angus #whothefispaddy, he was funny, he was chatty and most importantly he was single (we think although did anyone check) Lydia was a great wingman here and is really an all round great team mate. Usual wingman Ali was absent, apparently she was out on a Christmas do with her friends but I would ask, has anyone actually met them, do they even exist or did she just need a break from having to constantly find Vic new men.

Also suspiciously absent was team captain, I mean she is absent more than present! She claimed to be unwell but rumour has it she just wanted a date night in Mill Hill where she could plan her annual trip to the Maldives where she will be gone again.

Talking of people who are not around after Christmas, where do I begin with Charlie! Not content with starting a fight in the stands pregame with a ginger players girlfriend, she then had to be pulled away from Vic because Angus #whothefispaddy is ginger. We all know that if a ginger male is present Charlie gets the tits out and woe betide anyone who tries to talk to them first! I am not entirely sure where she is moving to after Christmas but she was spotted booking tickets for a gingers only festival, we couldn’t ask her as she spent most of her time talking to her umpire ‘friend’ from Bishop's Stortford. It’s also rumoured that she has booked a one on one session with Matt Menear to learn how to drag out short corners.

Other notable donkey worth moments continued to occur, Sue yes you do need your stick to play on the pitch, Ella and Lilly yes a meet time means the actual meet time and not just a suggested meet time. Baz also hit the ball into her own head but got sympathy instead of abuse just because there was a tiny amount of blood. Jess, quoted as saying she is anonymous, not great for a superstar DJ but is luckily getting advice from Gemma on how to up her instagram followers count.

Kelly and Lisa, you were given a clear written subs rotation sheet yet you still got it wrong, everyone knows Lara and Jess weren’t to be off together, that is what leads to ‘Push outs not drag outs’. Lauren who has put in an official request to ladies club captains to ask for our next team kit to be leopard print.

Lara, where do we even start, you play for Broxbourne, Broxbourne is not Southgate, we don’t have red kit, we have never had red kit (except the men before they got pink away kit). You have been here for two seasons and yet you haven’t in this time thought oh yeah maybe I should get something that remotely relates to being a badger. Also not coming to the team curry because you don’t like spicy food, have you heard of a korma, do you eat chips? And no cats and dogs can’t breed, there is no such thing as a dat!

Darcy work is more important than hockey Lowe! The only thing that can be said is hands off Joe (except you can have him when he strips after a few pints). I have left the Boxall’s til last! Beth who had what can only be described as the best stack of the season, and no she did not style it out. Some would say that it was the most donkey worth moment of the match but no thanks to the sisterhood of the Boxall’s Emily put herself in charge of the vote count and suspiciously all of Beth’s votes were changed to say Gemma!

Whilst some may have concerns for the future of the 2’s rest assured that we all love each other really and because we are so amazing and won 5-0 we will work hard over Christmas to be ready to remain undefeated and win the league.

P.s no i didn’t forget Lydia, she is amazing despite having a thing for farmers who play in goal.

Ladies 4s vs St Albans 7 - 5-2 win

Goal scorers: Isla x2, Frankie x2, Jo
Assists: Jo x2, Frankie, Lisa B x2
Player: Aaliyah
Donkey: Sarah G

As the last home match of the day, thankfully the weather started to clear up by the time we started to play but it was still bitterly cold with the wind.

We were delighted to welcome Lisa B to us, to get her back into playing following some time off for illness.

The game got off to a slow start for Broxbourne and within the first couple of minutes St Albans already had their first goal, with one tackle in midfield, then their attacker one on one with Lisa S, a ball lift over her stick. Emma stopped it with her body, but it went behind her, straight into the goal.

Undeterred, the team spent the next 15 minutes in almost constant short or long corners at the St Albans end. Despite our best efforts and sending both Lisa’s from the back line to join the forwards, we weren’t successful. By the end of the second half, St Albans has scored their second goal.

Going into the half time talk, we knew we were playing well, but that the score didn’t reflect how well we were playing. Most of the play in the first half had been in their half and we knew that with a big push in the second half, we could get it back. After some halftime Haribo, the team together and despite the rain coming back in the second half, gave it their all.

With fantastic home support, the second half was a goal-scoring frenzy. A couple from short corners and a couple of great runs in, led us to draw 2-2 after just a few minutes back on the pitch. The team kept pushing for the win and within minutes went 3-2 up with goals from Jo, Frankie and Isla. Despite St Albans turning up their attack, their attack was marked out, and the couple of short corners awarded didn’t have any impact.

In the last few minutes of the game, Broxbourne scored two more goals (Frankie and Isla), taking the fours to a 5-2 victory, the second win this season!

Well played everyone!

Away fixtures

Ladies 5s vs Blueharts 6 - 5-0 loss

Player: Rachel BA
Donkey: Teagan

Despite the weather MOST of the ladies 5s made it on time to Hitchin to play Blueharts 6s in the last game of the year – more about that later! The dryrobes were out in force (shame we can’t play in them!)
Thanks to Grace for stepping in to help in goal again with the absence of Hannah, and to Tors and Lauren for their excellent sideline coaching (whilst staying warm in their dryrobes…). Slight change to the line-up at start time as Teagan still hadn’t made it to the pitch but we started well with some good pressure.
The first half was tricky as Blueharts had some very quick players. The mids and defence were challenged with keeping up and marking them. We had a couple of attacking opportunities but the Blueharts defence kept these from going across the line. We were missing a centre-mid with Aaliyah stepping up to the 4s , so a slightly jaded, veteran Sharon was dispatched meaning we didn’t have the swift legs to help in the middle.
Nonetheless, we battled hard. The second half was definitely a step up. Marking was better, more ‘fight’ to get the ball and Teagan (yes, she did arrive eventually) sending some really decent balls up the pitch to take the pressure off defensively.
We ended 5-0 down and with some points to work on (marking being the main one) but, despite the weather, it was a good game. We look forward to returning in the new year and getting back to some wins!
Player – again, plenty of votes across different players, but was awarded to Rachel for her great work on the right. Donkey was a close one with Imogen needing a pink top but only asking once most of the team were on the A1. But it went to Teagan for her really crap time-keeping! (Worryingly, she was very excited about the donkey badge so we hope this doesn’t mean she’s planning on being late every week…. Sorry, I meant VERY late…. We’ve all accepted that late is standard!)

Ladies 3s vs St Albans 6 - 3-1 win

Goal scorers: Cerys x2, Laura
Assists: Hannah
Player: Olivia
Donkey: Lauren

Ending the first half on a high.

The Ladies 3’s felt a little under pressure this week after such a glowing report on last week’s podcast and were determined not to end the season without the much desired win against St Albans.

The time may have suited us a little more, but the weather definitely did not in comparison to the last match we played at Oaklands. However, the prospect of exchanging secret Santa gifts (and some other surprises) and taking the opportunity to report back on the measurements of the St Albans showers definitely spurred the team on.

Raring to go, the majority of the team arrived promptly and were joined shortly after by Grace, who had been picked up from Hitchin by Lauren and Tors after being an absolute legend and braving the storm and the flurry of Blueharts attackers to play in goal for the 5s that morning.

Before the hockey prep had even started and Lauren was even fully kitted, the measuring of the shower was carried out! The tape measure was thrust into the tiny expanse and read with ‘some accuracy’. Thankfully, measurements were able to be translated into metric and imperial by Rachel (Lauren didn’t know there were cms and m on a tape measure.) A video has been sent to the podcast hosts to share if they wish or can be available on request from the Ladies 3s.

As well as the normal joviality that accompanies the team, the unveiling of a new tattoo for Lauren was made, which paid homage to our ‘70 min hero’ Tara. Lauren felt it apt to share the masterpiece as it sat right above her knee ‘prison tattoos’ and showed her eternal appreciation with an infinity symbol and Tara’s name. Now for those of you wondering, yes Lauren would do something that bizarre (we refer you to the croc tattoo circa 2023 from Great Yarmouth whilst drunk) and this was the reason that Tara was very unsure initially of the validity of it. There was quite an awkward prolonged period whilst Lauren made her sweat. Eventually though, the truth came out and the story of an 11am visit to WGC to use a wet cloth and a transfer kit was shared.

Now for the hockey…

Battling the elements, the team were eager to show their dominance, but St Albans were frustrating as they seem to slow a lot of the Broxbourne play down. Some fantastic blocking from Olivia saw St Albans cut short in any attempt they made to attack.

The weather did play a huge part in the frustrations as Broxbourne couldn’t make their usual runs but eventually found a rhythm and were rewarded with their first goal courtesy of Cerys following some great link up play through the middle with Kirsty, Olivia and Laura with the assist coming from Kirsty.

Although St Albans did become wise to Rachel’s rocket balls down the side, she was still able to find the passes through to the others further down the pitch. The defence held strong against the attempts from the opposition to blast the ball from the top of their defensive D.

Again, perseverance paid off and the second goal was found shortly after which showed that when Broxbourne played their game, they were able to get a result. The goal came from a great ball from Hannah and slotted home by Cerys. A disallowed goal in which Broxbourne believed the ball had crossed the line showed that the Badgers could score but needed to convince the umpires.

Ending the first half 2-0 Broxbourne knew they weren’t safe and needed to find a few more goals to keep a distance, as St Albans were eager to reduce the lead.

As the second half started again, Broxbourne did dominate possession but found it hard to find the goal. They did however find it through Laura from a short corner. This boosted the team and gave them a little breathing space.

Another disallowed goal from an unplayed advantage was frustrating but again Broxbourne settled and continued playing.

St Albans piled on the pressure and found the goal through a short corner. Ending the game 3-1.

Player of the match went to Olivia
Donkey to Lauren for tattoos and playing the ball off the sideline multiple times. It could however have gone to Rachel for her dramatic fall when she was side swiped off the ball.

A team curry and Christmas jumper night ended a great first half of the season.

Thanks to the coaches and supporters, who have helped us this far.

Ladies 1s vs Harleston Magpies 2 - 3-1 loss

Goal scorer: Willsy
Player: Nads
Donkey: Pip

Better late than never...

The final game of 2024 saw the Badgers back on the road to Harleston Magpies, an away fixture which has proven difficult to gain points in the past. Transport coordinator Alice Brown ensured car pooling combinations would result with everyone arriving on time, with herself and fellow tardy favourite Pip Evans slotting themselves in with Kay Tart to ensure a prompt arrival at Magpies sub two hours before the game. Emily Wilkins and Tor Stacey travelled separately, stating PTSD of car pooling previous journeys to Norfolk with Lisa Banahan, who was dropped from the squad at the beginning of the season when it became apparent how much driving would be required for away games. The Hertford Hares failed to live up to their name as Nads Wheadon insisted on driving at 56mph to ensure fuel efficiency and maximise her petrol profits for the week. Further behind that were the Hoddy Hoes who arrived in the changing rooms almost half an hour past meet time, which Meg Thomas announced upon arrival was solely down to the lateness of Hannah Baker, who was frantically googling Storm Darragh for a revised weather report after dramatically underestimating the Norfolk wind chill factor.
With the squad assembled, Broxbourne embraced the warm up which ironically left everyone significalty colder. With dry robes reluctantly cast to one side, the game began and the Badgers found themselved under relentless pressure from Magpies whose press and darting balls into the D were keeping the back 4 on their toes. GK Kim Hellery came to the rescue on multiple occasions to keep Brox in the mix, and there were glimpses of hope with link ups between half backs Stacey and Charlotte Skipp to the midfielders. However, the dam finally broke deep into the first half where Broxbourne conceded two goals in quick succession to leave them 2-0 down at halftime. A no nonsense team talk from captain Ellie Welsh reset the Badger mindset: 2-0 down...ppfftt, we've come back from worse, let's get back out there. Sadly, the renegergised start to the second half was little too much for centre mid Brown who minutes after the restart was left crawling off the pitch after pulling her left hamstring (not a desperate attempt to get back into her dry robe to avoid the now howling weather). Luckily the rest of the team pushed on, and despite conceded an unlucky goal in the second half, finished the game on a high note with a goal from Laura Wills. There were further chances with great skills from Charlotte Hartwig Green and player of the match Nads Wheadon, but sadly the away side ran down the clock without converting anything else leaving the final score 3-1.
The woes for broxbourne were far from over though, as the team returned to the changing rooms to assess the damage from Storm Darragh, and more importantly who would be in charge of plunging the showers...in particular it was the senior players who looked to feign any responsibility: Pip Evans looked for a sympathy card after spending over 20 minutes searching for her misplaced towel: Becky Scarrott turned on the water works in a very unconvincing display; Em Wilkins fled the scene immediately claiming she couldn't spend any time in a changing room which did not have a dehumidifier.
With plunging duties avoided the Badgers made their way to a welcomed jacket potato and fines, although notably absent was Laura Wills who took the opportunity to scope out the Norfolk dating scene in the hope of securing a date for her family Christmas. The remaining Badgers submitted their player votes, secured by Wheadon who did not hesitate to fist pump yet another financial gain for the day.
Broxbourne ladies 1st team end their first half of the season 2nd from bottom, with two crucial fixtures at the start of Jan against CoP and Norwich City in their attempt to overturn the odds and scramble their way out of the relegation zone. Big thanks to all players who have contributed to the squad this season, particularly those who have endured the trips up the M11...the dry robes did not come soon enough!

Mens 1s vs Bishop's Stortford 1 - 5-4 loss

Goal scorers: Mitch, Toby, Ethan, Hoppo
Assists: Josh, George, Hoppo
Player: George
Donkey: Ed

Men’s 1s bring Xmas cheer to Bishops Stortford

It’s fair to say the pre- match preparations didn’t go quite as well as how Phil would have envisaged. Mitch overslept (more on that later), so Paddy ‘the baddy’ and Foxy not wanting to risk a dart fine - took the train instead. However, the City boys picked up a £65 fine instead for the incorrect Fare from a very passive aggressive ticket inspector. There was also a tyre change required on route by Stan and a sleepy and feeling very sorry for himself Mitch during the pre-match team talks.

Proceeding to play in the storm of all storms, Broxbourne took a surprising lead within the first 10 minutes. A dreadfully worked short corner routine made its way to Foxy for his ‘subtle’ second goal of the season.

Instead of pushing on…we had what can only be described as a ‘moment of madness’, conceding 4 goals in so many minutes! With Bishops Stortford in complete control, Broxbourne dug in deep and found some momentum-with Mitch starting the come back from a well worked Short Corner and Toby scoring a stonking reverse hit to bring us back to 4-3.

A rejuvenated Badgers absolutely went for it in the second half - dominating for large periods and getting their just rewards with Hoppo bringing the score back to 4-4!

With time running out, Bishops Stortford piled on the pressure and won the last short corner of the game. The flick was saved by Ryan but Stortford reacted first and got the ball back into the D for a reverse hit that found the back of the net.

A frustrating afternoon after so much effort to get back into the game - but a second half to be proud of and positives to take into the second half of the season!

Sunday 8th December

Home fixtures

Mixed Cup vs Southgate - 4-1 loss

Goal scorers: Hoppo
Player: Stan
Donkey: Sam
Cards: Millie (green)

‘Attack’ doesn’t mean attacking the D!

The badgers mixed team were without their golden captains this weekend as they decided to travel ‘up north’ to prioritise being VIPs in the Leicester City Executive Box. Makeshift captain Ryan had to contend with a team of hungover Christmas jumper wearers following the Badger social the night before.

The badgers, who were convinced they were in for a beating, shocked themselves (and their supporters) and settled nicely in to the game and frustrated the opposition. Standout players include Stan for breaking up passages of play, Baz for clearing expertly off the line from a deflected short corner routine and Hoppo for dominating the midfield. The opposition did create chances, with an absolute rocket smashing the cross-bar, but the defensive line held it together to maintain 0-0 going into half time.

For all of the Badgers good work in the first half, it was undone in the first 5 minutes of the second; with two quick goals giving the visitors a commanding lead. But the badgers didn’t give up, and their efforts were rewarded with Em going clean through and winning a P-flick for a push in the back - which Hoppo dispatched effortlessly into the roof of the net!

With Southgate rattled, Gem (who thought Fresh was playing up front today because he was going to ‘attack the day’) found space and played a shot that went just wide of the right post. This turned out to be the badgers last chance big chance in the game, with Southgate finally finishing a flurry of chances, with a stand out worldie reverse hit to win the game 4-1.

Christmas Jumpers Social
An amazing turn out for our final social of 2024 with over 60 club members in the club house dressed in their best Christmas jumpers and outfits. What a wonderful evening solidifying the fact we are the best club in Hertfordshire.

Coming up next weekend...

Cup games on Sunday 15th December

[b]Away fixtures
WO35 vs Blueharts - 2:30pm
MO35s vs Hertford - TBC